Seven years ago, for
about a month, I was spending four hours each day in prayer, when the
Lord said he wanted me to leave the priesthood. I did something I have
never done before or since. Without thinking, I shock my fist at the
tabernacle and shouted, “But I love being a priest.” He said, “You are a
priest; you will always be a priest; I will just be using you
differently." Many not so direct nudges to leave have come
since. After two years of meetings with the archbishop, working with
my spiritual director, many hours of prayer, and finally making a 30-days
discernment retreat this Lent, it has became clearer than ever that
to be faithful to God, I must leave the priesthood.
The day before I
informed the archbishop the results of my discernment retreat and while praying
after Communion, I recalled a phone conversation earlier in the day from a
woman who came to me for healing two months ago. She reported she no
longer had lung cancer, fourth stage, and that her doctor found no tumors
anywhere in her body after she had been prayed over. Then these thoughts
crossed my mind:
“Why would God give
me these wonderful gifts and then ask me to leave?” (That question
I have asked a millions times over the last seven years.) “They will
be used in new and different ways.” “Is that coming from me or from
God?” Instantly, my body became relaxed – like in an alpha state.
My body was giving me the answer - it was from God.
Presently, documents
are being prepared to send to Rome requesting that I be returned to the lay
state. In the meantime, I am taking leave of the priesthood and thus will no
longer be using my priestly faculties.
People ask,
"What the Lord will have you do?" My hope this will open the
door for my tinnitus to heal, as my doctor has indicated it will, and indeed my
gifts will be used in new and different ways.
Since my tinnitus
became so severe fourteen years ago that I could no longer continue the healing
ministry, you have been holding me up in prayer, I am most grateful for
that. To the people whom I served for thirty-five years as a priest, I
want you to know you brought me much joy and I will miss that.
All I want to do now
is serve God, who loves us so much. Please pray that my new life will make that
possible again.
