Request to return to the lay state

Seven years ago, for about a month, I was spending four hours each day in prayer, when the Lord said he wanted me to leave the priesthood.  I did something I have never done before or since. Without thinking, I shock my fist at the tabernacle and shouted, “But I love being a priest.”  He said, “You are a priest; you will always be a priest; I will just be using you differently."  Many not so direct nudges to leave have come since.  After two years of meetings with the archbishop, working with my spiritual director, many hours of prayer, and finally making a 30-days discernment retreat this Lent, it has became clearer than ever that to be faithful to God, I must leave the priesthood.  

The day before I informed the archbishop the results of my discernment retreat and while praying after Communion, I recalled a phone conversation earlier in the day from a woman who came to me for healing two months ago.  She reported she no longer had lung cancer, fourth stage, and that her doctor found no tumors anywhere in her body after she had been prayed over. Then these thoughts crossed my mind:

“Why would God give me these wonderful gifts and then ask me to leave?”  (That question I have asked a millions times over the last seven years.)  “They will be used in new and different ways.”  “Is that coming from me or from God?”  Instantly, my body became relaxed – like in an alpha state.  My body was giving me the answer - it was from God.

Presently, documents are being prepared to send to Rome requesting that I be returned to the lay state. In the meantime, I am taking leave of the priesthood and thus will no longer be using my priestly faculties.

People ask, "What the Lord will have you do?"  My hope this will open the door for my tinnitus to heal, as my doctor has indicated it will, and indeed my gifts will be used in new and different ways. 

Since my tinnitus became so severe fourteen years ago that I could no longer continue the healing ministry, you have been holding me up in prayer, I am most grateful for that.  To the people whom I served for thirty-five years as a priest, I want you to know you brought me much joy and I will miss that.

All I want to do now is serve God, who loves us so much. Please pray that my new life will make that possible again.